The Beginning

The car pulls up in the car park and I feel his hand softly squeeze my knee. I look down at my knotted fingers feeling dread and sickness swimming in the pit of my stomach, a sense of guilt washes over me as I watch others walking and laughing as they enter the house which is lit up like Christmas. Flashing rope lights and twinkling tree lights pave the way to a new and exciting lifestyle. I look over to him.

“I can’t do this... I can’t go in.” Panic etched in my voice.

“Just try ok.” He replies softly.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes trying to clear the rock that is rolling around my stomach.  I open the car door and step out. I flatten out my dress and smooth down my hair. I take a tentative step but wobble on my heels as I try and navigate the gravelled drive. I hear people talking and laughing with each other somewhere in the distance even though they are only a few feet away from me.  I make my way over to more suitable footing, gasping for breath and fending off a panic attack.

“I can’t do this” I repeat quietly. Standing looking at the house where everyone else is headed.

“Ok.  You absolutely sure? We've come this far.” I stand and look around for a minute, breathing deeply looking at the summerhouses that are seductively decorated.

We had discussed it over and over again.

We had made the decision together.

We had thrashed out the boundaries.

I take a deep breath and look over at him. “Ok let’s do this. But you better buy me a stiff drink.” I pull my shoulders back and begin to walk with just the right determination towards the house.

This was it.

This was the moment.

This was my night, our night.

A night of pure unadulterated sex with whomever we wanted.

A night to change us forever.

To be continued.....